I'm sorry you are feeling so out of control. It sounds like you could definitely benefit from talking to someone, about your childhood, your triggers, etc. You said you're in school? How old are you? Is there a school counselor that you could talk to without your parents knowing (at least for the time being?) Is there a teacher that you trust that you could reach out to? A best friend? It sounds like you have a lot of strong emotions coming out. I'm sorry that you feel like this.