I know what you mean when you say you "want to escape the mental prison". I have felt this way since the age of 14. I've been on the meds as well and I still take effexor and that's it. I was on lithium for 5 years and quit it and couldn't even tell a difference. I've seen the doctors, councilors, and been in group therapy too. Sometimes I think I should give up on trying to get " better" and just deal with who/what I am....but I know I have to keep seeing the positives in life and keep putting one foot in front of the other....otherwise our thoughts could drive us mad. I hope things get better for you. Good luck.