Well it's been a week and a day since I was discharged (feels like a lot longer) and one of the referrals from the ward was for a cpn (community psychiatric nurse).

'Assessment' was today (at my home)... I put assessment in '' as (and much to the bemusement apparently of the two nurses who came today) the hospital had demanded 'allocation' which is not how it works... everyone has to be assessed first.

I also discovered pretty early on into the appointment that they were at a bit of a loss on how to proceed as apparently the hospital had done this very arse about face since I am still in the middle of waiting to be assessed for other diagnosis' (personality disorder and Asperger's) and should have ideally been kept in hospital till the personality disorder had been established (Asperger's is going to take longer (months) as there is only one specialist for the county that does those assessments)... and that they usually get involved once everything has been settled.

All of this did wonders for my anxiety... was kinda good that my wife had taken the afternoon off of work to attend (she's a teacher and her school has been amazing for giving her flexibility in attending important appointments), having been informed what's happening with me... a little embarrassing but very kind of them)... at one point I had to excuse myself from the room to go get some fresh air, punching the wall out of site really hard out of frustration and not wanting to scream at things never being ****ing simple and professionals tripping over each others feet so to speak.

She was talking to them when I returned and I was a bit more composed... they gave me quite a grilling with regards to my mh history and I answered their questions as best I could... they were determining risk, stability and both could see where the aspergers link had been established as well as linking it into emotional attachments (or lack of) from youth and how that tied into depression and anxiety.

They assured me that I wasn't going to be dropped like a hot potato... that in their view and after their weekly meeting on Wednesday it would be very likely I'll either be allocated a cpn or I will be seen at some building every 2 weeks by the mental health team. They also want the crisis team to continue working with me at this time and will liase with them.

Spoke to me about the personality disorder assessment and advised that it would likely lead to therapy on a group or individual level one disagnosis had been established... that I would need to make a decision at this point on how to proceed with that as it would be a case of either or when it came to the centre I'll attend or my private T (said that I'd prob want to stick with my T due to rapport and not wanting to have to start all over again... + my T is really good, why throw that away)... which they said would be fine... but important I get diagnosed regardless.