vaguely, mentioned in passing. She hadn't even read the handwritten letter, so I took it back from her (not letting her keep a copy like she likes for my chart) and I read it to her instead. She responded a bit, said I was much more talkative than normal, I expressed how I felt the decisions/mistakes she had made contributed to my sense that she had "stolen" my safety. And for the first time we did not argue.

She did however tell me that the arguing is ALL me, bc she takes her inventory regularly and she is the least fightingest person she knows, she does not fight with anyone, ever- just me. So I must be bringing it to the table.

This week she did not respond to a question about changing session time, and she said I can't e-mail this week either due to her going out of town for labor day weekend, and did not tell me this during session. Normally I would fly into a rage over it, but this time I was just briefly irritated and then I got over it. It was nice.

But I am also on a new medication called Latuda that I am actually taking (I'm prescribed lexapro, abilify, xanax, gabapentin and naltrexone) none of which I take as prescribed. In fact I take nothing except xanax as needed for panic or bouts of suicidal ideation. But I've been taking the new latuda miracle wonder drug and so far my worst side effect is killer headaches, but I'm hoping they go away as my body adjusts. But I am just not as angry as I normally am. I suspect maybe it's all in my head bc I've barely been on it for two weeks, but ::shrug:: Maybe it works bc I think it works, lol.