>>well, if you all have anyother thing to say besides "its his problem" and not mine, i'd appreciate it.

rt I do sympathize with your situation. I hope you will continue to find solutions... keep talking to people about it, talk to a counselor, seek help for depression, etc. I am sure it does feel as if your options are very limited because you are so young. But the good news is that that will not always be the case.

You can do as much as you can to improve the situation for yourself, for your sister, and for your family... but at some point you will be able to leave the situation if there is no improvement (and you will be able to encourage others to do so).

The REALLY IMPORTANT thing is to make sure that when the time comes and you are out on your own, that by that time you are not so full of his crap that you have begun to believe it. Abuse travels in cycles and is passed down in families. We learn by observing and imitating, even if our intention is the opposite.

It is a very positive thing that you recognize and understand that your father's behavior is bad. But that knowledge alone is not enough to make sure that when you separate from him physically, you can separate from him emotionally as well. That is why we like to remind you often that this is his fault, not yours. As often as he tells you or makes you think there is something wrong with you, we are here to tell you that that is not the case, lest you start to believe it somewhere deep down inside.

Keep posting here and keep working at solutions. I am not here to say that escape from the household is your only solution, only that it is one possibility that is sure to arise with time, but also realize that just physical separation may not be a "total cure" so that as much as we may repeat "its his problem, not yours" that doesn't mean that you should just sit back and take it, or brush off his behavior. Bottom line is that his behaviour is his choice... but your happiness results from your choices. Which are very limited right now unfortunately, but hang on to hope and keep trying to find proactive solutions for the here and now.

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