"I don't think someone can "love" someone and do this to them... "
Something I learned when working through my issues of abuse is that many people don't know what real love is. To them, love is what they saw and learned as children. I was controlled most of my life (also lived in an incestuous family) and I felt that if I wasn't being controlled, then that person didn't really love me. I, in turn, was over controlling with my older children... UNTIL... I was taught that it wasn't love in it's true form. Many of us need to learn what Love really is.
<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.