You are not disgusting. You are recovering. It's hard to learn to eat only when you're physically hungry and to stop when you're full. The hardest part was learning to slow down while eating meals. I still struggle with that. Our culture encourages eating for every reason imaginable. It's really difficult to resist eating for emotional reasons. It can be done. You can learn different ways to deal with what triggers you to binge. It takes time and persistence.

When I find it impossible not to binge, I go for the carrots and rice cakes. I once ate so many carrots for so long that the palms of my hands turned orangish. True! I don't know if my eyesight was any better, ha-ha.