By that I mean not knowing if and how all the fear, pain, rejection, and loneliness I've endured so far will be worth it.

Feels like it hasn't been worth it so far (especially since many of my fears have come true) and it all just keeps piling on and on.

I'm not sure if anyone I ever meet and/or anything I ever do will ever be able to put me back together; it deeply frightens me and brings about a profound sadness.

Sometimes I find myself wishing for an end to my existence over happiness - pretty messed up right?

Thanks for reading. Comments are more than welcome.