cloudyworld,

I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I truly commend you for taking the initiative and seeking options. You mentioned hypnotherapy so I thought I might chime in and tell you the good and the bad news about that option. The way I read your post I got the impression you may have been thinking about what we refer to as hypnoamnesia wherein the thought could be removed from your mind. If that's not what you meant, and I misinterpreted what I read please forgive my error. If that is what you meant however I'll refer to this as the bad news as unfortunately the hypnotherapist isn't going to simply remove a thought, and in fact repeated attempts to go that route may at best try to repress them which is not your goal.

The good news on the other hand is that when when under the care of a psychotherapist, hypnosis can often help you in applying the tools that your counselor is giving you such as those described in bluekoi's post. For instance I will only work with addiction cases if the person is actively engaged in a 12 Step program. The reason is that I can't simply suggest the addiction away, but if they will commit to the 12 Step program, there is a lot hypnotherapy can do to help them apply those tools, keep them on task, keep them motivated, and certainly deal with the stress and anxiety.

Good luck and certainly consider finding a good therapist in your area who can teach you some coping tools.