It is hard to tell whether what you are describing is merely teenage angst, and something that will pass, or if it is something more severe.

I have come to realize that I am one of those people who can feel the melancholy and the depression monster tear at my soul. Sometimes I feel completely worthless and just a rather small thing, like friends that matter a lot to me not coming to my birthday or move overseas-party, regarldess of excuse, can set me off for days, maybe even weeks. I feel that I do not matter and that people do not really care about me. I feel that I am a low priority in anyone's life but my own. I feel that I walk on this earth unnoticed.

But, in my experience it also has its beautiful sides. I used to think I was sadder than others, the last few years I have realized I just feel stronger than a lot of people. And, honestly, it's a beautiful thing. It makes me able to cry from seeing a baby laugh or from seeing a cancer survivor get married on TV. It makes me empathic to the young and old, to the sick and the frail, to strangers. It makes me involve myself more in charity work and get to know so many inspiring and caring people. It makes music so much more important to me, it means I can connect to a song to the extent where if the song is sad, I feel depressed, and if the song is happy it cheers me up; to the extent where lyrics of a song can crash into my heart at a fuller speed than for others.

All these feelings, these emotions, sometimes confusing, sometimes hurtful, sometimes complicated; they can make life crap but they also make life a wonderful, beautiful place. They also make life the existential, pure joy of walking barefoot through a meadow, of lying on the ground watching the stars, they make life about love as much as hate, about joy as much as sorrow and about smiles instead of scowls.

I love life. I truly do. I have never been suicidal, but I have had bad periods when the darkness seemed to embrace everything and when the point to it all has not been very clear. It takes work, sometimes it takes a lot of time, but fortunately most people get through it. And their victory for it is the wonders of life, of living (as I am not religious, I don't believe there is an alternative, either - this is what we have, and that's it). I hope you will learn to feel better about yourself and your life.

Take care!