I've always known something is wrong with me. I've known it for as long as I can remember. My parents fed the denial I have now. Even after cutting them out of my life they still have influences over me and my decisions. I fit. I fit so well into this. This is me. It explains so much. The lightbulb has flickered to life. There isn't any use to fight it. I know the Drs are right. I know I'm going to doubt this occasionally. That's just me. I don't want anything wrong with me or to have to take pills everyday. I haven't been keeping my journal for a while. But it's ok. There has been so many other things going on. I know I should make it a point as well as mood charting. But they have fallen to the wayside. I'm going to a Bible study today. I don't really believe the Bible as 100%fact. Which should make this interesting. I'm going basically to drive my wife and sister in law and her kids. I hope this doesn't feed my brain into an obsession. Religion sometimes does that to me. I'm ready for summer to be over. I want fall. I've got to go make muffins and shower. I didn't sleep well last night. Got 5-6 hours sleep, but lots of waking and tossing and turning. I'm wide awake now. So much to do.