I truly hear and can understand your frustration. It can be maddening.

I have learned that I can either accept people as they are, knowing their faults, working with or around them, and letting it go; or confronting the issue, letting them know how what they did made me feel, instead of stewing on it. If they are a good friend, they will understand and work with you. Life is too short otherwise. I hope you find which brings you peace.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference...
--Reinhold Niebuhr