We are talking about CSA in therapy. Every time i have to recount details i am sickened. The words make me feel ill and i hate myself, i hate my therapist for being so open about saying private part words and i hate her, i hate it.

I am still that little girl who is dying of embarrassment and shame. I am so guilty and sickened, i am truly repulsed with myself. I wish i could just cut myself right in front of her to show her how much i despise myself, how awful and fu-ed up i am.

I want to crawl out of my skin. I want to hurt myself in front of her. I want to ruin everything and hurt myself. What would happen if i did cut myself in a session????