Quote:
Originally Posted by Middlemarcher
It's not surprising that this has put you in a tailspin- this is a big change for you. I don't have any advice other than to just stick with the feelings, ride it out, breathe, be patient, keep thinking about it, keep talking to your therapist, keep talking to your friend. Things feel frightening now, but that will settle down, and you will find your bearings again.
I have been following your journey with interest, and I'm glad that you share so willingly here. I find it inspiring, how hard you are willing to work to explore yourself and achieve personal growth. Wishing you well in your continued work.
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Thank you very very much for your response and your kind advice. I appreciate the support.
After a few days, you're right, I've calmed down a lot and gotten my bearings. I'm still more than a little shell-shocked, after all I went from having done literally nothing sexual with anyone but myself to having done, well, rather a lot
, at least for me.
I spoke with my Therapist about things, and my friend has been great with giving me lots of time and space to work things out.
At the moment, I don't think I want to do this again, at least not anytime soon.
The analogy I came up with for my T went something like this:
Right now, I'm working my way up a steep mountain. I'm progressing upwards one step at a time. Suddenly, I had this option to have an express escalator take me up to almost the top of said mountain. I got up there, and I've decided that while the view is nice, I feel like I'm not properly acclimatized to this elevation, and I'm a bit scared of heights
. So, I think I'd like to head back down to where I was and keep working my way up step by step, and then maybe when I get back to that same elevation, I'll be more comfortable
