I'm new to this site and I was just diagnosed as being bipolar within the last week. I am trying to cope with all of this and always knew that there was something wrong with me. I knew that I wasn't like everyone else. Now I know what is wrong with me and why I've been doing some of the things I have been doing, but feel lost and helpless and guilty of the things I have done. I have lost the most important person due to the things I do while I am in a manic state. My boyfriend he won't speak with me anymore he kicked me and my three year old daughter out without any notice due to what I do while manic. I talk to other guts inappropriately but never do anything with these guys. I want him to understand why I do these things and know more about my disorder but he won't even speak with me. I don't do it to hurt him, I now know why I do it. At the time I am doing it I don't feel it is wrong because it makes me feel good about myself and when I am out of manic mode I know it is wrong and feel so bad about myselg.