I have spent a lot of my life feeling hopeless. Lots of really terrible things have happened to me and so I would point to that and say, "see." But in the end I am very very glad that I never went all the way and checked out. I've had all kinds of experiences alongside the bad ones, and I am now seeing an opening where things are coming together and giving me a whole different way to live. When you are so down it is really hard to feel positive or pleasure about anything, I know, but perhaps you can find something meaningful, something that matters?