It's almost impossible to have 1 set of emotion, meaning all things positive , or all things negative. Lately(rather the past 5 years) I've lived a very odd life, and am just coming to realazation to it. Its what I call the sad-happy sendrome, in which I have really good experiences in short yet my minds "eye" flips it into its reality. To make more sense of this I'll give a example.

I'm a teenager , I just turned 17 now in my Junior HS year. I'm not a rebellioning teen like most "I" see altho I do have certain points of hatred for the world. Ok, my thoughts are always in distress of depressioni when I smile, my mind is crying, when my mind smiles, I cry physically(if that makes sense) .

Its so crazy no matter what I do , I feel guilty that I should be sad, and the feeling "is" good. I enjoy being sad, not because its sad but beacuse its easy, and like all things, its common and not a change. If you smoke for 10 years its gonna be hard to quit then if you smoked 10 days, naturaly because the addiction and need builds.

My therapist and I meet thursday, its to say the least dredful in my mind, eevery appointment thus far hasnt been as expected, in a negative sense...........