Moonkin,

Your post actually makes a lot of sense. You are wiser than most of your peers because what you are describing are the "grey" areas of life. Deep down, no-one really feels all one way or another and sometimes depression and negative feelnings are good because we are releasing emotions that need to come out even if they feel crummy. You may be experiencing a sense of relief at times, although it can feel like an internal conflict because the topic is sad/depressing. I urge you to tell your T about these feelings. Good luck.