Yeah, I'm kind of like that. I don't go all the way to loving myself, but I can be generally satisfied with myself sometimes. Then I'll make a mistake or think I did something stupid, and I'll loathe myself, beat myself up, want to hurt myself, want to kill myself, etc. I get through the intense part of it by telling myself to knock it off, sometimes even out loud. I try to think about other things, distract myself. I tend to avoid people because I usually end up berating myself after any social interaction.