Ok, so I don't think I'm depressed, but I have been sleeping a lot. If it weren't for my bf waking me up today I probqbly would've kept hitting snooze on the alarm- granted I'm not working today, it is nice to get things done- like doing some grocery shopping, cleaning up the apt. a bit, catching up on some reading,am that sort of thing. I did the same thing yesterday I had gone to bed at like 2and then my bf got up and left for school and I kept hitting snooze until 1:15 and got up and left for work to be there by 4:30PM. Granted I went to bed at like 3:56AM, I set my alarm for 12 and planned on hitting the gym, something I haven't done in almost a week.
I don't know why I'm sleeping so much. I had a bout of painful cramps earlier that dissipated, even though I'm not due for my period for nearly another two weeks- I like my new job better than my old one for sure, but I don't really want to be there- like it's fun, but I wish I could be doing something more with my time on this earth, helping make a change for the better in others lives and for the world at large- I feel like such a waste of space- and yes, I know I should be putting forth efforts to do so if that's how I feel. I also just don't feel like working at all either . . .. maybe this is depression??? Ugh, whatever . . . I'm probably thinking too much, I've been told that- but then thinking and writing things out is a good way (for me) to process things and usually helps. I don't know, I'm also feeling despondent in general because theres so many selfish oblivious people in this world that just continue to be part of the problem- they're either blissfully ignorant or selfish and wasteful and I want to just beat the **** out of them for making me feel bad for caring so much. Ugh, I need to go on a permanent vacation or something . . . maybe I am PMSing . . ..