Actually that thinking isn't always that warped.....I had to be self-sufficient because I ended up married to a guy who wasn't capable of doing things so I had to do the things that he couldn't do.....& as far as any emotional closeness....he wasn't capable of that either..........the point being.....don't always think that the marriage or the relationship will give you what you think you need either.

It's much better to be self-reliant & then if a guy does come along that fills that need wonderful.....it's much better than being ditzy woman who doesn't have the ability to take care of herself.

Now that I finally left my H after 33 years & am finally getting a divorce.....I left & bought myself the farm I have always wanted....living there alone with my dogs....but I HAVE to take care of everything myself because I don't have the money to hire things done.....so it's UP TO ME......I it makes me feel good about myself that I am capable.....much better than being stuck with a guy who isn't capable of anything.

One never knows where life will take them....& it's much better to be prepared than not.

I have to admit, it would be nice to have someone to connect to emotionally ......but being comfortable not having someone is important that way it works no matter how things turn out.