Have you tried going to couples counseling? That might help each of you see things from the other's perspective.

While he may not be expressing himself in a very compassionate or understanding way, I think he's right about not getting married or having any more children until you are both in a better situation. If you are arguing, you are struggling with agoraphobia, depression and anxiety, and you are struggling financially-- those are things that should probably be addressed before you decide to get married or bring any more children into the situation. Hopefully, you two can resolve your issues and THEN get married-- but I think finding healthier ways to communicate should come first.

Do you talk to your therapist about what you feel is preventing you from working? What does your therapist think? Are there small steps you could start taking in order to work towards the goal of being ready for a job?