I really relate to what you say. There's one saying that helps me. I'm really fearful of rejection and showing neediness, or being burdensome too, so I find it hard to ask for anything because I'd feel too ashamed. And if the person said 'no' it would make me feel even more ashamed - like it was proof that I was wrong to ask in the first place. But I try and remind myself that 'Just because the person said no, doesn't mean you shouldn't have asked.' I think that was from some DBT assertiveness skills handout my T gave me. It's helping me a bit with that stuff.