I relate with you a lot. Needs, that's the reason that brought me into therapy. I didn't even need to eat and when it happened I felt guilty and I would made myself sick especially if ti was something particularly good. That's why I will never "call should I need anything" and why it is a big deal to accept extra care and I pester you all on here when it happens. Even in therapy as you maybe noticed, "others" have to reach out to me, speak for me, read my mind to figure out what I need. It must be difficult...

Letting others know what you need means to let them actually see you and if you are used not to show that part of you it will feel awkward and risky as you have always thought that you can't have needs or be "weaker", otherwise it will be more than people can handle and they will go away while you have revealed the most intimate part of you. I always feel left without defenses and betrayed. No close friends either.
I guess it is a way to protect ourselves from getting hurt (again?).

About asking for advice here, I'd say that posting here gives you the chance to put your needs on the table or try to do it - sometimes it's a bit easier if you write - and since the thread itself doesn't force people to read and answer, those who do are not bothered by your need for advice and are definitely not thinking "this girl demands too much!" as it was their choice to take the time to do it. I know, it's not like doing it with people face to face, but I'd say it is a nice exercise to start with, and it could be sloooowly applied to real life. It takes time indeed.
Uhm, don't know if this made any sense?