Laying low is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am feeling an overwhelming urge to reach out to find out what the heck is going on. I don't believe in letting things fester, but I also acknowledge that I may have a much faster time line than other people.

The last time I heard from him was Friday, and it was just basic chit chat via text. I believe in open communication, and that's why I reached out the first time he went MIA. The fact that he apologized and seemingly came around was so nice....I honestly thought the driving 40 minutes to see me was a sign that he was pretty into things and putting forth effort.

The way he talked to me that meeting was so sweet and open that I'm really kind of stunned to not hear from him. He talked about our first date and how happy he'd been to meet me. He noticed some things that needed fixing around my house and talked about how he'd fix them. This all seems like "I really like you" kind of behavior. He even admitted to me that he hadn't made love with anyone for almost three years, since he and his ex split up. Because he told me something so personal, I really thought some kind of trust was forming.

Am I expecting too much? Would not hearing from him for a few days be normal and I'm the one who is off? I just don't think I should have to reach out to find out what's going on twice after only knowing someone a few weeks. But, even if he's changed his mind again, wouldn't it be better to just hear it straight? Or, is his silence all the information I really need? To be honest, I'm actually kind of angry. If he'd left things the way they were before driving down to see me, I would have felt good about him as a person and good about myself for accepting that some relationships just don't work out even if both people like each other and are good people. Now I'm totally conflicted inside....and I don't know if the problem is him or me.

I had a very painful break up a year ago and have not liked anyone since then even though I have gone on a few dates. This just feels like a really shi*tty introduction back into the relationship arena. I'm starting to wonder if all I can do is pick people who are not very careful with other people's feelings. How could I feel this bad after only two dates with someone....I don't know what I'm doing wrong but have to take into consideration that the problem is me and my expectations.