Well I got 5 hrs of sleep, yay!! I'm back to taking 3 mgs of risperdal a day until I'm sleeping regularly. I was in a horrible mixed episode. Coming out of it now. Going from crying to paranoia to anger to guilt. Just kept shifting fast. Yesterday it was just intense paranoia.

So mental illness sucks!

I called the on call therapist and she wanted me to go to the hospital. It's pointless to go though. So I just stayed home and acted like I was in the hospital, lol. Just stayed offline and drank lots of sleepy time tea. So I was going on 2 weeks of barely any sleep. Trying to keep track mind is still racing somewhat. I couldn't keep track of all my meds yesterday, so my sisters came over and helped. They do love me. I just feel so alone sometimes.