You know the truth is I mess with my meds. I do, typical bp when I start to feel stable I start increasing some and decreasing others. I just hate that numb feeling. I like intensity I guess. But the psych nurse said, if u take the meds and stabilize for a year, then we can start lowering some. But once I stabilize I start to feel bored. And emotionally numb. I just don't know. I do know my family is sick of it...