This one brought me up short.

I dont experience time. I dont experience the pleasure of anticipation. My motto seems to he "its not happening now". Its how Ive had to live. Always sorting my experience. Always living double.

Johnny, you made me think of something. PTSD loves a road trip. I used to travel your countryside. No terrors on thw road. No time, but on long drives you measure the time in space. A mile a minute. Instead of a clock face you have landscape or the map. Lynch in louisville. Travel is normalising for us. We also love gardening. A garden keeps track of time for you. You feel your place in time.