I think I have finally accepted the need for the time to heal myself. I needed this as a wake-up call to take ownership of my recovery. I was drifting, waiting for the meds to fix everything. Now I have a plan in place to attend a php. I am being more involved in questioning my doctors and their treatments, goals etc. I feel much more positive about the decision, even if it was not one I would have made for myself. (I still want to go to school on Tuesday and greet the kids on the first day of school - not sure how positive I will be then.)