I know that lately things are rather intense here as well by virtue of intense therapy, week three of a cold and other stressors floating around.

I asked my pdoc via a fax to call me at the end of Thursday. He did not . I called his VM Monday and am not sure if he has a new machine but I was cut off....I imagine him putting his finger on the machine to cut me off. I rethink that... I call back and leave a message that I am working things through despite medical and psychological difficulties and am ready for meds. A female recording...thanks for calling... must me a new machine... I hope.

I recognise a similarity between patterns of what is going on with my T to patterns with the parents. I always thought they would move while I was in school, etc... I do not know if it is just the same thing over again...

I wish for help and kindness as I am bruised and bleeding. This week is better than Thurs -Sat particularly....poop. I wish for kindness and understanding but am not sure it will be there.... but yet... is that not what I wondered with my family of origin particularly with my parents. Other thoughts this week have confirmed this pattern. Someone ( I suppose that should be moi) hit the friggin STOP button.

I too am exhausted. I will make it til Thursday. I am angry but ... perhaps I do not have a right. Whether I do or not... I am just tired... and I float along til Thursday trying to boost myself up while recognising....figuring out what is going on.

I do not have the diversion of family but the warmth of two kitties.... which I appreciate.

Perseverate...

Sunday I was productive and I try to be a bit more productive each day....to not stew in it.... but yet it all seems glued together.

Thanks... I know I will feel better having vented. It is frustrating... and yes this allows some of the obsession to be released ...if not for a bit. A welcome respite.

I am glad your doc calls you back. I hope mine has a reason for what he does....and it is not just a personal limitation.

Good luck with all of the processing you need to do. This place has helped and having friends help.... There has been so much negativity about... Va Tech..... My sis has written considering Hospice for her husband with ALS..... and there is more. I feel full....and not in a good way.