So my bpd has been pretty manageable after therapy.
And life has been good. I cut all the stresses out my life, working for myself and cut negative friends right off.

I recently meet a new person in my life and we agreed to be just friends after going on a few dates!!
However we are way more then just FRIENDS.
And this is not in my head (it's real)

My friend is also a bpd suffer and has not had therapy.

I find myself uncontrollably jealous. And this is not a emotion that has ever effected me really.. After we had an amazing night last night and I left them this morning. My head and stomach are raging with jealousy.

The thoughts are in my head and I can't get rid of them. It is starting to bring all sorts of emotions up that I don't want to be feeling.

I don't know why I feel like this!!
Even know we agreed to not put a label on our relationship.
My friend plans to move away soon. So I won't see them any more. We both always knew that this was not going to turn into anything long term due to commitment issues.

But last night are conversation although drunk I'm sure they said he loved me.. Or do I want them to tell me they love me!!

So not only now am I feeling immense jealousy I'm freaking out about that. I really really like my friend but I don't want to fall in love with them because I know they are going to leave..

I'm not really looking for any advise, I just needed to write this down where I know I'm not alone.

P.s I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. My brain is in overload

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