This may be what's called "Auditory Imprints".
When we are very young,anything said to us by
parents or carers gets lodged in a very receptive
childs mind. This acts as a post-hypnotic-suggestion
and it plays back to us as we get older. I just caught
self at a new one the other day,so I'm working on
eradicating that one. The trick is,AWARENESS.
Try to get into habit of catching 'whispers' of self
condemnation before they come out your mouth.
When you do catch them,immediately go where you
can be alone,sit down,close eyes,and have
COMPASSIONATE chat with little girl you once
were,telling her this is NOT TRUE,that she was
GIVEN these toxic messages without her knowing,
and that you/she are most certainly NOT an idiot,
or any other pejorative name. It is important that
you be alone for this,to really reach part that is
toxic to you.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE