((((((((((martyalex)))))))))))
That is a horrible pain to be struggling with, and I hope and pray that someday you'll be able to find a relationship that satisfies your need to feel a family's love. In the meantime, everybody here at PC will do their best to comfort you and try to help you through your pain.
If you need me or wish to talk, please feel free to PM me!! I know you're really struggling right now.

luck&love,
~muse