Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Apparently? I would think its the opposite. Someone said here attachment is human, being social. Freeze, flight or fight response would be more animal, more instinctual. But definitely attachment issues happen pre-verbally, and that is a problem.
Eta - and where hazel says she "should" feel more comfortable asking, otherwise there is something wrong with her - in a sense that is true; you "should" have been raised by a good enough mother who didnt leave you alone and screaming for hours. But you werent, so how you feel now DOES match how you were raised, to feel fear about asking for help.
So weird about the dentist - i had that exact thing happen to me as a kid. The dentist wouldnt let me walk home after a tooth pulling, even tho my mother had made my gf accompany me. I told the receptionist, i aint calling my mom, shes gonna yell. I still remember the receptionist saying, well im not scared of your mom! Then my mother yelled at me for telling the dentist she didnt want to pick me up. Mixed messages.
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I received a lot of the same mixed messages. At best, I was ignored if I asked for something. At worst, I was yelled at and told how much of a bother I was. And if I dared tell anyone else this, I was yelled at for telling others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by archipelago
Attachment needs are about safety and survival. Animals probably have them too. Humans are only different in the sense that a human infant is far more helpless at birth than many other animals.
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I agree with this, and that our attachment systems come on line before fear. We aren't afraid of strangers, unless we want our mommy. And then it's not so much fear, it's discomfort.