Managed to make it to the grocery today, clean up the kitchen, and do a load of laundry. Now I am back in my chair. Tomorrow we are having a cook out. I don't know if I can put on a show for everyone. I really just want to sit here in the dark, alone. A few of the people we invited have been our friends for over 13 years. They have seen me at my worse and at my best. I don't know if i want them to see me like this (again). The others we invited are my daughter's boyfriend and his parents. They weren't around when I was very ill. They don't know about my history, so to speak. Then of course Tuesday is back to work. I'm not keeping it together very well. I hope they don't notice. Just really tired of fighting.