I know what you mean, like I don't fit in or act like everyone else, like something is wrong with me.


I know...I just can't do this IRL. It's okay here, but not there.


That's another thing: I can't admit that anyone is important to me or matters to me. Which is crazy because almost everyone enjoys being told they're important to someone, but I always feel like I am sharing too much and that people are uncomfortable if I tell them they're important to me, even if they've said the exact same thing to me. I can't tell people I love them, I can't tell people they matter to me or that I appreciate them, I can't tell people that I value them, or that they have impacted my life. I am so cold to people, even when I want to be warmer and I know I "should" be. I feel like a lot of people eventually give up because I don't show warmth.


I really understand what you mean. And it is a million times harder if someone rejects me. I can't handle it and I end up completely running away from whoever it is because they obviously hate me and don't want anything to do with me. For example, last week, I asked someone if I could take some time soon to talk to them about some difficult things going on in my life. This is someone I trust quite a bit and go to a lot for help. She said she would get in touch with me once she knew something about her schedule, but it's been a week and she has t said anything. So I feel like I shouldn't have asked and like she doesn't want to see me or talk to me. I will be seeing her today because we both go to the same church, but I probably won't approach her or talk to her. I will avoid her and make sure I don't bump into her. I feel like I am bad for asking and like I asked for too much, and I shouldn't be so selfish or self-focused to demand people's time like that.


Yes. It does. And I agree. It is a good chance to practice before taking it out into the real world.


I think one of my problems is that I try to fulfill too many of my own needs, and if I can't fulfill them, I ignore them. So my needs for companionship, connection, love, and understanding all go unmet because I can't meet them myself.