The first time I ever heard someone tell me about their abuse story, it was someone I admired greatly (and still do), and I remember thinking so much that she didn't deserve anything that happened to her, she didn't deserve the things that were done to her, and it was horrible that she went through them. But I think that's easier when the abuse is huge and awful and extreme. But when the abuse is shaming and guilt trips and ignoring and that type of thing, it's much harder to think it's not my fault.