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sister said:

(1) What about bringing yourself to orgasm in the presence of your partner as part of your love-making? Is that approved? Would that count as masturbation?

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As I stated in one of my other post in this thread....
If you are going to masturbate at least do it with your partner watching and do it with EYES WIDE OPEN and look directly into your partners eyes at the moment of climax - your orgasm.

... and make sure you are having sexual orgasms more with your partners physical body than that of an adult toy.

... and maybe even try letting him use the toy on you to the point of you having an orgasm and then let him finish with you - just another way to spice up a sex life and to allow both of you to enjoy the pleasure of sexual climax.

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sister said:
(2) How do you do the eyes wide open thing if you need to wear your glasses and you've placed them on the night table?

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You do the EYES WIDE OPEN thing as any one else would and you look him straight in the eyes still at the moment of your climax..... my husband wears soft contacts and he takes them out every night and we still practice the EYES WIDE OPEN thing (with or with out his extra pair of eyes - the view just isn't always clear - lol) - and trust ME there are times that neither one of us can keep our eyes wide open let alone keep our eyes fixated upon each other.... that's a good thing.

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sister said:
(3) I'm really uncomfortable with these claims. I'm sure eyes wide open is as a nice experience but there are many ways to spice up your relationship with your partner. Women (or for that matter anyone) should not be discouraged from a sensual/sexual relationship with their own bodies. I just plain don't believe the statistics as I have had a relationship with myself and with my husband of 29 years.

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Please keep in mind that the EYES WIDE OPEN thing was not suggested as a means to spice up ones sex life (even though it can), but it was suggested as advice on how the original poster could possibly solve her issue of not being able to climax - have an orgasm with a person after years of self pleasure.

And please keep in mind that I was not discouraging any one from partaking of self pleasure - I even stated that I too partake of this pleasure from time to time.... for I do believe in knowing how your body reacts (good & bad) so you may show your partner what turns you on, teach him.... I have even shared on many different occassions that my husband and I have our own liitle treasure chest of adult toys that we share together.

It is good to hear that you and your husband both have a good sex life with each other and with your self..... but please keep in mind once again that I was replying to those that do have a problem or difficulties having an orgasm with a person after masturbating for many of years by themselves - there is always a majority in any situation and there is always a minority.... and only we can tell which we fit into and if one fits into the area of "cannot" then this practice may help them - it helped ME.

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~ Its All Good ~