That sounds awful, I was not aware of the details, seems you had it tougher than I thought, given your parents' personalities and your own sensitivities and difficulty in communication even now. Their behavior would have been damaging even to someone who would not describe themselves as sensitive, I would think.

I may be wrong, but I almost feel like you're asking a question about fairness of life. Or perhaps some fundamental assumptions and beliefs of your being challenged. Like it almost makes no sense how people who gave life to you and raised you and knew you so personally for so many years, would be the ones most damaging to you! It's like you keep thinking about it and then say, What?! You expect strangers to act that way not your own parents. Like it's unfair, like makes no sense. It's like an oxymoron or something.

And somehow saying, say, a mismatch in personality or life circumstances, that does not sound satisfying. It doesn't seem personal enough, yet the hurt is very personal. It's almost like wanting to scream, What did I do to make you act the way you did! Like in some ways the hurt deserves a much better answer. I'm reminded of the fact that many kids who are mistreated do end up blaming themselves regardless. I don't know why. Maybe to think that the very people who gave us life and raised us when we were little and vulnerable, they must be loving and caring at all times. We rather be bad than question their goodness or love. People are, in some ways, more vulnerable than want to admit. And life is more unfair. Parents who hurt us remind us too much of those things, it opens deep wounds. That even closest people can do this to you. There is no safety in the world, we might conclude. That's terrifying!

I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop here because I'm getting emotional myself and reminded of the times I followed mom around, she was my whole world, and yet she was also abusive when enraged or under pressure, and for years I tried to get her validation or alternatively a satisfying answer as to why she did that to me, or not so much why, but more like, How could you do this to me!