Emotional abuse is the worst. The very nature of it is such that you're made to feel like you have nothing to complain about, that everything is your own fault. That you just need to cop on and grow the f- up already.
Like my mother said when I visited her recently: you made those choices yourself. It's very hard to keep in my mind that even though I did make poor choices, she is the one who taught me to make poor choices. She's my mommy. And she's supposed to always be right. She hurt me and now I think it's okay to be hurt and that I deserve to be hurt and that it's good for me to be hurt and that that's how I learn. I feel like something is wrong or I'm being lazy and useless if I'm not letting myself be hurt or used somehow.