I get that, I struggle with not wanting to rely on or be close to another person that much, having been let down A LOT. I do urge you to discuss this feeling with T even though it is hard. For me, therapy has reached a new level once I let go a little bit and allowed myself to ask for help and trust a little bit more. It actually lessoned my intense feelings and allowed me to deal with som e issues.

The struggle to keep her at arms length and not rely her while also trying to trust her enough to deal with issues was taking up far more brain space than I needed. I feel so much better for having let some of that go, realising I can trust and she is worthy of trust.