Quote:
Originally Posted by loophole
All right.. well I guess I'll tell my story and just go from there... I was diagnosed bipolar about 2 1/2 years ago.. 32 now. I've been bipolar in my mind since about 17 and major depressive before then. Anyway...
I've always been extremely introverted... don't know if that means anything?
I have what I've always just called "blackouts".. basically I will become irritable to the point of blowing up or shutting down, at these times I will sometimes go 3 to 4 days where my life is altered.. after 3 or 4 days are gone.. I come around to my "normal" self.. at this point I'm not even sure why I lost it most times.. and basically cannot remember what people said or i said.. forget which day was what and often not sure if one, two or three weeks have passed(when i say that i don't mean clueless but i have to play days back in my head and try to figure it out)... me and my wife talked the other night for a long time.... she didn't understand the extent of my blackouts... i didn't realize just how "scary" i can be.... we went over alot of the past and i didn't realize the extent i took things or completely forgot some things all together.. (texting one of my therapists on a wild rant etc...)... i'not sure where this fits in.. i know i can't be diagnosed here but im just curious what people think/? is this extreme? I really don't know.. i've been in IOP (intensive outpatient program) for going on 2 weeks now... I plan to discuss this more there (not dissociation but the extent of my blackouts and possibly have my wife come in and talk to my therapist)... anyway..
|
What do I think...you definatley need to contact your treatment providers to sort out everything. when I dont recognize a poster I check out their profile and past posts. with all that you have posted during your time here there are many different things that can be the cause of this problem you posted here in this thread.
what I can tell you is that here where I live and work in order for something to be called a dissociation related symptom/problem things like past drug and alcohol use/other mental disorders, medications, other physical health problems need to be ruled out. including whether the problem is a "black out" vs dissociative loss of time/dissociative amnesia symptoms.
let me give you some examples in my life...
when I had black outs I went to my treatment providers. after going through their assessments it was determined the problem was not a dissociative one but was a drug side effect of being in the same room in which others had been using weed.
Another time when I was having black outs and my treatment providers put me through their assessment tests the problem turned out to be not a dissociative one but a physical health problem called Multiple Sclerosis.
Another time when I lost a huge chunk of time it turned out to be a bipolar mania symptom not a dissociative type time loss...
I have even had times where I could not remember days/weeks and it wasnt called dissociation it was called sleep deprivation, poor diet, and other problems...
on the other hand when I had a space of time which I could not remember what went on, that was accompanied by other symptoms my treatment providers called this dissociative amnesia.
my point is the only way you are going to know whether this problem you are having is part of bipolar disorder, anything else you have posted about or a dissociative symptom is to be completely honest with your treatment providers and let them know what is going on. they will be able to tell you what is normal for you and what this is for you.