This is what I hear: Am I too dependent or is this healthy? I am not good at relationships, so is this what a "good" relationship feels like, or is this not a "good" relating? Do I feel these things b/c I don't like deeper level feelings or because something is off base?
I do understand that place. It can feel so confusing! In a therapist's office, you are supposed to learn vulnerability which leads to all kinds of mixed feelings. But which vulnerable feelings are good and which ones are red flags?

How do you tell the difference? Good question! I do believe that your inner voice, the one that makes you question, serves a purpose. The problem for me was that I so doubted my ability at relationships that when I brought up similar issues with my therapist, and he was thrilled by my dependency, I assumed it must be a healthy feeling. But I still had those nagging feelings and questions in the back of my mind. Ignoring is never healthy. Yes, talk to them about transference. See how they respond. It was also helpful to me to have other sounding boards to bounce "healthy" off of. And yes, it is also healthy to feel vulnerable. But establishing the difference with your therapist between vulnerable and dependence could be important.

My thought is to continue to get feedback from others, read up on healthy/unhealthy therapy relationships, and to respect your gut. Talk about it with therapist, but don't just blindly accept their response bc you feel confused about healthy relating.

These ethical references for therapist relationships may help clarify:
Psychotherapy: What Can Go Wrong - Psychotherapy Treatment And Psychotherapist Information
50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy and Counseling