warning if you are not up to reading a long ramble, this may not be the thread for you...
I am having issues with depression, ptsd and anxiety and also life is getting really complex and overwhelming and I think that is contributing to how severe my depression has been lately...been trying to sort of keep it to myself IRL because granted my over-all situation is a bit better than some other close family members so I don't want to complain about stuff going on in my head bothering me...I am going to therapy, seriously considering maybe finding group therapy in the hopes I'd find people who can understand because I need more of an outlet. Not sure that would really help but what is the worst that could happen aside from me not liking it and deciding not to continue.
Aside from that though its all complicated so will try to summerize it. So things where doing sort of alright my dad was staying with a family friend of sorts and paying rent to be his room-mate, he was planning to get out of the state rather soon...He was homeless a while before that just staying with people. I was going to miss him when he left and stay in contact. Then the room-mate died out of the blue(well he was not in the best of health) and my dad hadn't actually figured out a plan for moving out yet and has been working on that but has been out of work so also having a hard time getting money to afford to leave...But the family and some in-laws or something complicated like that basically being pushy about him leaving...so he was going to be heading out over the past couple days his sister was sending him money to go out to califorina and stay with her and I think another one of his sisters. But on top of this now, he ended up in the hospital and had a stomach ulcer he had been complaining of stomach pain and digestive issues quite a bit and he tried everything we know of that helps digestive problems and stomach pain like ginger which helps digestion, herbal teas for digestion and stomach aches, tums, pepto bismal all kinds of thing....and I think he also took some tylenol here and there to allieviate the pain which i think can contribute to stomach ulcers(not sure). Then with the death of the room-mate and all the sudden having to pack up and leave he's been really stressed...Also when my parents got divorced he took it really hard and I sort of resent my mom some over it but that is a topic for a different thread.
But yeah so now from what I understand the in laws/family members are pretty much insisting they get out pretty much tomorrow or the next day or something and he might not be out by then, and there are dogs he acquired since he and the room-mate where taking care of them and so now he'd been taking care of them. He was planning on bringing them with or something to that effect...also my dads other friend has been a room-mate to so they are likely going to be forcing her out, my dads in the hospital, and I am worried about the dogs getting seperated since they where technically the pets of the room-mate and they are all they have since he died. So trying to think of a way to try and figure out a solution about what to do with the dogs temporarily if need be till my dad can get out of the hospital and figure out how he's going to go about all that.
My brothers trying to find a job, my moms getting impatient already sort of kicked him out once, but is having him stay again since he decided to get a GED and has homework and studying for it through the program he's going through...but he's stressed he doesn't have much time before she'll start nagging for rent he doesn't have...so not faring so well right now.
my mom and her boyfriend I live with argue a lot, and its getting pretty annoying....and all this on top of my already existing mental health issues is getting to be way overwhelming. Also I am paranoid about being kicked of SSI and having no sort of income and well not sure where I will end up then, though its probably not a rational thing to worry about. I am also worried about my mom losing the house, she is currently getting a certificate degree thing from a community college trying to start her own business which I can't really describe what sort very well right now but sort of holistic health but stuff that seems kind of questionable so I have concerns she wont get enough buisiness to keep up on rent...not to mention I guess her boyfriend helps pay some bills and rent, though he hasn't had a proper job but it also doesn't seem like he is putting a whole lot of effort into getting one...so I don't know just sort of a concern that even my current living situation is an unstable thing I am not so sure I can expect to last for any significant amount of time. Just seems everything could very well be going down hill.
not sure the point of all that, just needed to get some of it out I guess because its stressing me out.
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Winter is coming.
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