Quote:
Originally Posted by Breadfish
But you don't strictly need that car drive, do you? You can wait in the car or on a park bench outside the dentist's office until the anesthesia wears off. It would just be terribly inconvenient. I'd consider it a want, because you don't want to go through all the trouble.
I'm glad you're in a position to consider inconvenience a reason to ask for help, though.  |
Breadfish,
I had originally thought Stopdog had posted your message, as I was on my phone in the store when I read it. I apologize to stopdog for posting this to you when it was meant for breadfish and I am once again reposting it to the right person.. quiet frankly your answer was not very nice.... it was not an inconvenience for me it was a need, no matter how you perceived it.... here is the message I posted to stopdog that was meant for you (with spelling corrections)
.....See that's the issue. You are telling me that MY need is not a need just an inconvenience! Just because you don't think it is a need, doesn't mean I didn't think it was a need!
And yes, unless I had a ride and another person to sign the release the dentist refused to do the procedure... so with your logic of it being just an inconvenience, then I really didn't need my teeth fixed, and they could all have fallen out... the fact is I had a need whether you perceive it that way or not it was a need I had.
Its comments like what you just said that make people afraid to ask others to help get their needs met.. just because you perceive it as not a need does not mean it was not a real need for me or the struggle that I went through in myself before I could get the courage to ask someone else to help meet the need I had.. it left me very vulnerable to ask for help.
You can think you don't have any needs you can think you can take care of yourself but that is just a form of denial and a way to protect from being vulnerable to even admit you have a need
It takes a lot of courage to even admit you have a need let alone realize that we may have to depend on someone else to meet a need. For instance it took me two years to even go to the dentist because that meant I needed someone to take care of my teeth. We need doctors etc. Whether you want to admit it or not. And needs when met by others leave us feeling very vulnerable.
We also have emotional needs, we were biologically built that way.. we can deny we have them, but they are still there.
My apologies again Stopdog for posting this to you originally