I have been meaning to start a thread about this, I am so glad you wrote.

During my more extreme episodes I think about suicide constantly and have myriad other expressions of self hatred. It's awful.

But the rest of the time it's just there, it comes from out of nowhere, I wonder if one day I will kill myself, I think about people who have killed themselves, I think about what would happen if I did kill myself, I think about how to kill myself. Etc...

I have never tried, but at times I have gotten more information about how I could do it. Once I got down this bottle of Lithium I was prescribed but never took to see if there was enough in there to do it, I checked the amount needed on the internet... Not even close! Ha!

But I have been wondering about this too... What is the impact on us and the people around us from always thinking about suicide even if we never do it?

I think it's good to talk about it and not act like it's this shameful secret that you have to hide from everyone.
That's all for now but I'd love to hear your or anyone's thoughts as well.
MT