Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84
So, I know that one of the strategies that some Ts use is one where the encourage attachment to them and really encourage talking through their issues together. In doing so, it can model how relationships outside of the T room should go.
I am struggling with this ALOT lately. T is great, he is available when I need him, he has been understanding when I bring up issues with how he has mishandled things, he has be patient with me, etc. However, my problem is.. most people aren't as great as T. And T is only great, because it is his job to be great. I know that it doesn't mean he doesn't care for me, but I am saying.. In our T client relationship, he sees my needs and he responds to them.
So, how am I supposed to carry what I am learning from T over to my other relationships, when they aren't as great as T? Does that make sense? It is great I can open up to T, but I don't feel like I have anybody in my life that is near as trustworthy as T.. and I only find him trustworthy b/c he has an obligation of confidentiality.
Does any of this make sense to anybody?
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You are correct in saying T's are great, because they are paid to be and better be! I don't think we are suppose to carry over what we are learning to other relationships, I think our T's are suppose to somehow repair what we did not get from our parents, and carry the feeling of safety, security and stability so we can better our relationships with others.
This is what my T has done for me. I feel more self secure since I began therapy. I look at relationships in a new light. When I meet someone new or analyze an existing relationship, I think about what this person really means to me. Does this person add anything to my life or take something away? Do I really need to take in this relationship, or just let it go?
I really appreciate my T. He has absolutely changed my life. It hurts when his façade comes down, and I realize he is doing this because it's his career, but at the same time, I love it when he actually shows he really does care. Now, the saga continues, I just have to take the next step of feeling so secure with myself so I can actually let go of my T!