I totally understand this, I'm feeling just the same at the minute. I know a baby would''t help my problems, but I feel like it's what I want more than anything in the world right now. I start to resent my boyfriend for not being able to find a job after losing his, because I see it as him holding me back from what I really want - which is so selfish, I know. I think maybe we imagine that having a baby will magically make us a happy person and give us something to live for, when in reality we should probably wait until our mental problems are stable. Hugs!