Hi,

I saw the therapist yesterday. I brought up concerns again, and tried to figure out ways to make the working relationship seem safer when we have a meeting. I tried to figure things out for making things safer and better. He doesn't really like to talk about issues that are difficult within the working relationship, it seems, and changes the subject. It doesn't seem okay to talk about them. It doesn't seem okay to talk about much of anything. I feel very discouraged.

I see him again today and I guess the best idea I have is either to take a long break in the working relationship or just stop. I wish I had better ideas of what to do.

It is very hard to try to talk with people and trust people and even bring up problems when they occur. It is hard to try to talk aloud. So many things are difficult. It seems like it is better to never even open one's mouth, to remember to keep one's mouth shut 100% of the time. To remember that I am nothing and nobody and I do not exist. That I am not here. I should not be on the planet, never should have been on the planet in the first place, and I am a mistake. I am wrong, I am bad, I am stupid. stupid stupid stupid stupid

Take care,
ErinBear