It's true that usually the therapy relationship is committed to being safer and unlike other relationships. The therapist is not supposed to abandon, harm, or place demands on us. They are not supposed to express their needs in ways that a reciprocal relationship does. So even if it is a relationship and intimate, it is still a therapeutic, working one.

I don't think the idea is that we go out expecting the same thing in other relationships. I think the idea is that we develop a broader repertoire for how to be related to someone and so are more flexible, less stuck, less fearful, and so on when we turn to people with whom we want a reciprocal relationship of whatever kind.

The relationship with the therapist is sometimes called a vehicle through which the therapy is conducted. So even as it is held as central by some, there are other things things that are going on. The therapeutic relationship makes it safe to approach those things. You wouldn't necessarily want to process stuff like that with someone who wasn't a therapist. And you can't really expect that someone would be able to sustain listening, openness, and appropriate responsiveness like a therapist is supposed to. Sure in an ideal world we would find people who are that respectful and generous with us. I don't find it very often. I've learned to stop expecting it or only expecting it in certain groups, like when I go to a meditation center or talk to people who are also experienced with therapy. But then I don't really feel that I need much more than I have right now.